Dodge-A-Cop

I just typed this up for Drewface so I figured I'd share it with you guys. :)

So Sunday I was headed to my grandma's memorial service. Really not important, but it's the reason I was out. ANYWAY, you know that light at Vernon & Towanda? You probably don't, but there's a light there and it's only ONE set of lights for 3 lanes of traffic. In other words the left turn only lane shares the same light as the other two lanes. Lame.

So I'm sitting at this light and I'm on the phone with Dawn when I realize that there's a cop directly behind me. Mind you none of those lame cell phone rules yet apply to our booming metropolis but I tell her I'll call her back when there's no cop behind me because it's the last day of the month and we all know how desperate that makes them.

Well after I get off the phone I see the light turn green, so naturally I go, being the first car in line. Meanwhile this car in front of me is trying to turn left and gives me this ridiculous facial expression with matching gestures. I'm thinking they're crazy because I clearly have the right of way at which point I check my rearview mirror and realize the ONLY car following me from the lanes I thought had green lights was the cop. Crap.

My temporary destination was Quick-N-EZ so I turned left into their lot as planned. The cop got stuck for a little while due to oncoming traffic since he hadn't turned his lights on. So I park in a spot that has another one next to it and wait for him planning out my sad story of how my grandma died and I was on my way to her memorial service which is why I was so distracted. Honestly it was really just the sanguine in me and I actually WAS paying attention so I'm really not sure what happened.

Anyway he doesn't pull up next to me so eventually I just go inside because I wanted caffeine anyway and I was basically out of XS for the month. So I grab a rootbeer and get in the checkout line at which point I see him walk in from the other side and head over to get a fountain drink. I'm thinking "Great, I'll just duck out while he's paying for his drink!"

Apparently cops don't have to pay for their drinks??? As soon as I finished paying, I headed to the door which he was already holding open for me. So I politely and respectfully thanked him as if I was the perfect model citizen. I mean seriously for all practical purposes cops don't need to concern themselves with me anyway, right?! He acknowledged my gratitude and we headed in our separate ways to our cars.

At this point I remember I was actually stopping there predominately because I needed gas. As I started to backup so I could relocate my car to a pump, I saw him "inconspicuously" backup as well. Well then I pulled up to the pump which I think really confused him because he just sat there partially backed out of his space watching me.

I pull out my card and swipe it to pre-authorize it for my gas but the machine tells me to go see the cashier. So I walk back into the station to find out what's up at which point the cashier informs me she just didn't hit the button fast enough and that my card was declined because there wasn't enough on it for pre-pay.

Back out at my car I start digging through my pile of artifacts for another card to use and then swipe the new card and start replenishing my thirsty car's fuel tank. I'm not really sure at which point the cop decided I was a completely lost cause, but by the time I was done and back in my car, he was long gone.

And THAT is how you play Dodge-A-Cop.