Things that make me laugh: Korea Style

So…Sherrie told me to post. I decided to go with something lighthearted that would hopefully cheer us up as some of us are going through that nasty little thing called the economic downturn…

Things that make me laugh/giggle in Korea:

1. Bi/Rain: For those of you who don’t know, Rain is THE star in Korea. He sings, he acts, he dances (oh boy can he dance…). He does it all. Even speaks English! Though what makes me giggle is the contrast between his Korean voice and his English voice. In Korean, he sounds quite manly…but in English…he sounds quite feminine and gay… Plus, in Korean, his name is pronounced “Pee,” which is the Korean word for rain…hehe…

2. “Phone vs. Porn”: For some reason, A LOT of Koreans have issues with pronouncing “phone.” I don’t know why or how, but it comes out sounding an awful lot like “porn,” mostly because there is no “f” or long “o” sound in Korean. I’ve misunderstood several of my old students and co-workers with this one and started giggling insanely, especially when one student said in class, “I like sex-porn.” (Translation: I like saxophone.) Or when someone talks about their “handu-porn.” (Translation: Handphone = Cell Phone)

3. “The Gay”: For some reason, Koreans are obsessed with homosexuals. They say there are no gay Koreans (I beg to differ.*cough*Homo Hill in Itaewon*), but everyone watches “Sex in the City” so the first thing they often ask Americans is, “Do you have gay friends?” Though this question often comes in various forms, such as “Do you know the gay?”, “Have you met a/the gay?” etc. And yes, they do assume that all American girls have gay friends that they take shopping with them…

4. May I Have this Dance?: In American clubs, guys simply walk up and think they can dance with/on/around you and it’s completely fine. Here, if a Korean guy wants to dance with you, there is a process. First, he and his friends dance near you for about five minutes. Then, he spends another five minutes glancing over at you and then whispering to his friends. He takes another five minutes building up the courage to approach you. Then he taps you on the arm and either asks to dance or makes a face that reads “Do you want to dance?” Priceless process to watch.

5. Ahjummas: These little, old women have the power to make you giggle and also to fear. Don’t let their tightly- permed hair and atrociously garish clothing that doesn’t match fool you. They may not have brought you into this world, but they can certainly take you out…especially if you’re about to sit in their subway seat.

6. Hooters…in Korea?: Unless they import waitresses from the U.S., I don’t quite see the point… We all know why men go there…and it’s not for the buffalo wings…

7. Couple Clothing: Why on earth would anyone want to wear the same, exact outfit as their significant other? I laugh when I see it, because it’s quite ridiculous. They are already practically making out in public, why do they need matching outfits to proclaim that yes, they are indeed a couple.

8. Couple Phones: Following the couple clothing phenomenon, couples will go out and get matching phones. They even have “couple plans.” Imagine signing a 2-year phone contract with your honey and then breaking up two weeks later… I often like to catch two guy friends who happen to have the same phone and shout very loudly “Couple phones!” Hehe, they immediately start proclaiming, “No! I’m not the gay!”

9. The magic word, Oppa: The word that will get you things is not “please” in Korea, it’s “oppa.” At least, if you’re a young girl, that is. “Oppa” means “big brother” and all Korean guys like being called “oppa.” Sometimes I call my Korean guy friends “oppa” just because their reaction is so funny. They immediately grin and I swear I’ve seen some start reaching for their wallets like they are going to pay for everything…

10. Mini TV: A lot of people love to watch TV here…on their cellphones. At any given time, if you look around you on public transportation, about half of the travelers are hunched over their cell phones watching their favorite dramas…it’s crazy…

And those are just a few things that I could think of off the top of my head. I should start carrying a notebook and write these things down. I know there are more things that make me giggle or roll my eyes here…