The Joys of Dating...Korean-style...

I nearly forgot that I promised Sherrie a post about crazy Korean dating…so here it is…

Dating Korean guys is not the same as dating American guys, that’s for sure. In most cases, it’s not that bad. Korean guys tend to be very respectful, especially when it comes to Western girls. They don’t use stupid pick-up lines in bars. They don’t typically try to make passes or grope you in clubs. In fact, they often will ask if they can dance with you versus just coming up and grabbing your- butt- (sorry, censored myself) like Western boys. But they are definitely a bit more intense .

The first guy I went on a date with was a former student of mine. He spoke English quite well, and was only about a year older than me. When I asked him where to meet, he told me to meet him in Apgujeong, which is the ritzy part of town, so I thought I was in for a treat. The night started out okay. We went to a Japanese restaurant to eat and ordered a bottle of sake. He made a show about ordering the most expensive one, which was a little annoying, but oh well. The conversation went a little like this:

Him: So, I graduated from Seoul National University.
Me: Really? Is that a big school, I haven’t heard of it.
Him: (Eyes bug a little) Well, yea. It’s the number one school in the nation.

(I should probably explain that Koreans are very particular about their universities. If you say you graduated from Seoul National University, it’s a big deal. People get jobs based on the sole fact that they went to Seoul National University.)

Him: I just started work at McKinsey and Associates. You know it, right?
Me: Oh, that’s cool. Is it a foreign company?
Him: (Eyes bug again) Uh, it’s one of the top companies in America. All my co-workers are foreigners which is why I had to study English.

(Apparently, it’s the top company in Korea right now…and I was suppose to be
impressed…)

Him: So, when are you going back to the U.S.?
Me: Maybe in a couple years.
Him: Really? I was thinking about moving to the U.S. around then. How is Florida?
Me: (My eyes bug a little) Um, it’s nice…

So, he spent the whole date making it VERY clear that he wanted a foreign girlfriend. He talked about how he was tired of dating Korean girls and working hard to impress them. He then said that he would walk me home. (Which is apparently what every good Korean boy does on the first date. I was suspicious at the time and made it VERY clear that he was not coming up to my apartment.) I was completely turned off by his strong approach on the first date, so needless to say, I didn’t call him again…and luckily my guys friends scared him off in a very embarrassing way a week later. (That’s a story for another time…)

Guy two was very sweet and charming…and three years younger than me…he didn’t make it passed date two when he decided to take me around on the back of his bicycle. It was very sweet, but I felt like I was in a corny Korean drama…or in junior high…

Guy three was funny, charming and learned English in Britain so had an amazing British accent when he spoke English. He was also very clingy. We never made it to the actual date because he was a little scary. He would send me about 20 messages a day, which I thought was cute at first. Then one night I told him that I was going out with some friends and couldn’t meet up with him. He then told me to call if we went to Kangnam and he would join us. I told him maybe, but not to expect a call.

That night he called me six times. Coincidentally, I missed every call. He then kept messaging me ‘Where are you?’ Which I also ignored. Then, my friends and I end up going to Kangnam…and running into his best friend. Who then calls him and tells him he saw me in Kangnam. I then get a message asking why I didn’t call him. I ignored it as well.

He did have the decency to apologize the next day. After ignoring him for about four months, we got in contact again and actually became quite good friends. He’s learned not to be clingy and I’ve somehow become his relationship counselor…

Guy four was a law student from Korea University. (In the top three universities.) By this time I learned to act impressed even though I wasn’t. He seemed nice at first, but the more he drank , the more touchy he got. He kept touching my face (ew) and tucking my hair behind my ear, saying it looked better that way. I kept untucking it, determined to win the hair war. When we left the restaurant to go to a second place, he promptly took my purse and carried it. (Didn’t like that either.) Somehow during the evening, he ended up thinking I was his girlfriend. (Not sure where that came from.) So when I ignored his calls for the next week, he decided to look up my company and called my office. I didn’t recognize the name at first when my co-worker called me over. He said that if I hated him, I should just say so and he would never call me again. I hung up the phone and apologized to my co-worker.

Guy five isn’t worth really mentioning. He was 29, full of himself for living in Hong Kong for two years and boring. He also sent me a message saying he missed me about 10 minutes after I got home from the date.

Now, guy six. This is the good one. I went to a bar with my friends one night for a girls’ night. My friend Eun Young said that it was my choice and said to choose any guy I wanted. I looked around and pointed at the hottest guy in the bar. She then proceeded to skip over to him and started talking to him in rapid Korean and pointing at me. He looked a little embarrassed and shocked. I of course was dying because I didn’t actually expect her to go over and talk to him.

After running back and forth between the two of us for awhile, he came over and we talked. I found out he went to uni in the US for a bit and had an American uncle. We danced for awhile and then exchanged numbers right before I left.

For about a week he messaged me and tried to get me to meet him, but I brushed him off because I wasn’t sure if I could really trust him since I met him in a bar. But as we entered into week two and he was still messaging me, I decided to give him a second chance since guys don’t typically hold out that long for a piece of tail.

We met up again. Immediately clicked and about two weeks and a million text messages later, Young and I officially became a couple. It’s been a month since then and everything is wonderful from the good morning text he sends me everyday to conversations in broken English with his friends. ^_^

And I think that’s about it before I end up writing a book about Korean dating. (Trust me, it’s quite possible. I didn’t even mention the phenomenon known as “couple clothes”.) I’m sure I’ll have more funny stories from the mishaps of dating a Korean guy…I haven’t met the parents yet and I’m sure that in itself will warrant it’s own blog post…